Friday, May 30, 2008

If My Body Were a Car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would
be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull---
but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it----
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter---

Either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!


David said...

I would need an alignment for starters. Is there such a thing as a deaf car?
this was a cute post, thanks for the smile

Wendy said...

Oh this one made me laugh! I'd love to get a "tune-up" and burn my fuel a lot more efficiently! Then I wouldn't have a "spare-tire". LOL!

Joy Des Jardins said...

This was really cute Bear Naked. I definitely commiserate....I've had plenty of days when I feel like an old jalopy. But I'm trying to keep my motor running and my engine revved. Still...there are times when I could definitely use some new spark plugs...and some mornings I could use a good 'jump start.'

Nervus Rex said...


And how do you always find such perfect pictures?? Where do all these bears appear from?

I'm printing this out for the bathroom wall at work.

sablonneuse said...

This post and the previous one are terrific and oh so true.
Thanks for a good laugh - but I had to be careful with the leaky radiator.

Mental P Mama said...

I am literally Laughing Out Loud! Yea, that radiator is a problem for me too! Where did those bear hubcaps come from??? Adorable!

Bev said...

ok, I just about snorted coffee out of my nose laughing at this one! So true, so true!!!

Your post about dusting prompted me to write a bit about our housekeeping (or lack thereof!)

Write on!!

Becky said...

I loved it, especially the end.
Not there yet, but I know its coming. My Mother had the same issues.

JeanMac said...

A lovely (relevant!) laugh for my day.