Saturday, August 23, 2008

Saturday Funnies

Some times you just have to ask yourself, "Will I live to be 80?"
I recently visited my family physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?''
"No" I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, I was told that all red meat is unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, fishing or relaxing on the beach?"
"No, I don't" I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars , or have a lot of sex?"
"No" I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you even care?"
And this one is for Wendy at COPD - Caregiving is NOT for Wimps!
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.”
“Sir”, replied the doctor, “You’re 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?”
“You’re darn right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it lowered!”
Bear((( )))


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Oh,Bear - I started to get really nervous on that first one, although I don't smoke or do drugs, many of the other things do apply. So I guess I can look forward to a long life.

Well, at least a fun one.

These are great.

bobbie said...

I love that last one! As Moms Mabley used to say, "I may be old, but my feet ain't cold!"

Janice said...

The one I thought you were gonna tell was "if you give up drinking, smoking and eating redmeat you won't necessarily live too be 100, but it'll sure feel like it.

Nancy said...

LOL Good ones, both of them!

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

you made me laugh outloud with the first one----the doc makes a good point.--all work and no play---makes for a miserable existence.

femail doc said...

Great laugh on a Saturday morning, after reading your "E" posts on the other blog. A good start to the day!

sablonneuse said...

Good ones again!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, we're here for a good time and not a long time!

Mental P Mama said...

I think the only things I don't do are smoking and drugs. Wonder what my chances are?

Daryl said...

Good ones .. I'll be stealing them ..


Karen Deborah said...

That's the SMARTEST thing I ever heard a doctor say!!! hahahahhhhaaa
hheheeeheee good jokes

Wendy said...

Hi Bear Naked - thanks for the linky. Hope people don't think I'm kinky!LOL Just had to rhyme.
Good jokes - nice way to start the weekend.
Have a good one!

Joy Des Jardins said...

Chuckle, snicker, giggle....thanks Bear....

Midlife Slices said...

LOL Good ones!

Kay Dennison said...

(Da Kay drags herself off the floor) LOL!!!!!!!!!

Becky said...

LOL! I'll be passing those on to my folks... thanks for the laugh!

photowannabe said...

HeHeHe....too funny