Saturday, July 19, 2008

Questions about Canada

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy )
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Ca-na-da is that big country to your North..oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , right after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany )
A: No, we don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada ?(USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful nation of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam the city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking will scare them off.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Bear((( )))


Carin Fuchs said...

Servus (Bavarian for Hi) BearNaked!

Hard to believe, but obviously for a lot of people around the world Canada seem to be located behind the moon and then turn to the right!
As far as I remember from my journeys through your wonderful country, you'll cope with this kind of half-witted prejudice quite easy and with a lot of humour! LOL LOL LOL

P.S. I DON'T stink either! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Mental P Mama said...

LOL Do you have lots of guest rooms?

Maria said...

Too funny. Where are those wonderfully humorous answers when we need them. I for one, usually think of them a half-hour later. . . of course, I am from California. (Please no comments, I have just made myself a wide-open target for a come-back.LOL)

Talk about Canada being located behind the moon, it certainly was when I was a child growing up in Minnesota. The map in my fourth grade classroom showed the U.S. only. I thought there was just a nice curved edge to the north side and top of the map. What a surprise to find Canada on the map when I went to fifth grade. And finally, what a delight to visit our friendly neighbors to the North when I graduated from High School.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Very funny. Especially the one about the stuffed beaver.

Janice said...

There eally are some dozy people out there, unfortunately I have been one of them at times.Doh

bobbie said...

These questions - and definitely the answers are priceless!

TSannie said...

Whoever answered this has a wonderful sense of humor - glad you shared!

LOVE that Canadian stamp. Then again I love everything Pooh. What good memories it brings back.

Wendy said...

Oh those were too funny! Thanks for making my day!

Rob said...

Love it - got this via email a while back, but it's still just as funny reading it again.

Actually, it's not altogether a bad thing that Canada's many charms are still a secret only for the enlightened! ;)